funny life quotes one liners 40+ really funny one liners about life!

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Here's a selection of his one-liners: "When the Globes called me and asked if I wanted to host, I jumped at the chance. Then they asked me if I saw the movies and TV shows, and I said yes. I lied."

80 Painfully Funny One Liners

Mentally Retarded One Liners More Mentally Retarded Jokes Best Short Mentally Retarded Jokes Short mentally retarded jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mentally retarded humour may include short mentally challenged jokes also. Did you hear about the fire at the school for the mentally disabled?

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Friend 2: "No. Think you are retarded". Fighting on the Internet is like competing in the Special Olympics It doesn't matter who wins, you're both retarded! Buzzfeed is like Fortnite It's retarded. Score: 5. I lost my virginity to a retarded girl I wanted my first night to be special. Score: 4.

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1. I've spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer… but no one will do it. 2. My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black — that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down. 3.

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A one-liner, also known as a punchline in some cases, is a truly remarkable form of a joke. First of all, it is so short that by telling it, you'll never miss the 'magical moment' and will always leave your audience amused (that is if you've calculated your timing perfectly).

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1. "Just say NO to drugs!" Well, If I'm talking to my drugs, I probably already said yes. You can still stop taking drugs if you want to! 2. Have you heard the joke about the deaf midget and the elephant? No? Neither did he. He's deaf, so how could he hear about it?! Laughing out loud! 3. Why don't women need driver's licenses?

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There are a few great places to find funny retarded jokes. One place is on websites that specialize in jokes, such as Comedy Central or Funny or Die. Another place to look is on social media sites, such as Twitter or Tumblr. Finally, you can also find funny retarded jokes in books or magazines geared towards humor.

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One prick and it is gone. 24. I added Paul walker on Xbox… But he spends all his time on the dashboard. 25. How did the leper hockey game end? There was a face off in the corner. 26. Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand up. 27. Real men don't wear pink… They eat it. 28.

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2 Ali Wong on the Miracle of Breastfeeding. "Giving birth ain't nothing compared to breastfeeding. I thought it was supposed to be this beautiful bonding ceremony — no, it's not like that at all. Breastfeeding is this savage ritual that just reminds you that your body is a cafeteria now.". Advertisement.

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Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about your so retarded can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces.

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Stupid one liners You have two parts of brain, 'left' and 'right'. In the left side, there's nothing right. In the right side, there's nothing left. One liner tags: insults, intelligence, rude, stupid 85.25 % / 3894 votes. When I found out that my toaster wasn't waterproof, I was shocked. One liner tags: sarcastic, stupid 81.25 % / 306 votes.

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"Yes," said the clerk. The man replied, "Then give me a green one." Retards In Retail I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed.

funny life quotes one liners 40+ really funny one liners about life!

Everyday Quirks One-Liners. "I mentioned to my wife that her eyebrow sketches were lofty. She raised an eyebrow.". "On my whiskey diet, I've misplaced a few days this week.". "Diving into a book on floating in space. I just can't set it aside!". "I don't grapple with madness; I relish its every tick.". "My bed's an.

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Maryn Liles Updated: Jun 16, 2023 iStock Nothing gets a good laugh better than a well-placed one-liner—and we could all use a little laughter. Enter these funny one-liners. These clever jokes.

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I got lost in your eyes. But I also get lost in most department stores, so I wouldn't read too much into it. One liner tags: love, rude, work 94.32 % / 1702 votes. My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too. One liner tags: insults, rude, ugly 87.97 % / 2352 votes.